Queen of EarthDVD - 2015
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Cat: Was because I was... more impressed with this note, with this handwritten note, than I was with his... supposed changes in personality. You know? I saw this... this effort, this... This textile representation of his feelings, and I... I thought it was something real when it wasn't. It was just trite and clichéd and fatuous. But, I mean, it was real. It was this real piece of paper... which, I'm ashamed to admit, I carried around, like, three apartments, after that. But it wasn't real, it... it just was something that was completely empty. And hollow. And it just made me realise that I'm just in
this self-perpetuating cycle of defeat, where I can't get out of it, because I can't get out of it, because I can't get out of it... I need some time... It's one of the worst tendencies of human nature, to assume the best of others.
I just wanted to finally... purge all of that from my life. I'd already cut out so many worthless and negative people who brought me nothing but annoyance or distraction, so... I figured, why should she be any different?
-Because family is different.
No, they aren't. Nobody gets a free pass.
-That's a horrible thing to say.
It's horrible to feel. I wish I didn't feel it. I wish I could have relationships with some people I can't. But once they become just cyphers, or... you know, energy drains or, or they become... Someone who distracts or depresses me, I have to have nothing to do with them. I can't help it.
-You can help it.
No, I can't. I've tried. I just... hate them, and I hate being around them. And I hate talking to them, and... I love eliminating those enemies from every aspect of my life.
-I don't think I've ever heard an adult use the word 'enemy'.
Oh, don't be naive. It's the only word.
Cat: I just thought we were going to be alone together.
Ginny: Yeah, that's what I thought last summer. OK. I... I love Rich. He's fascinating.
Cat: C'mon. Well... I just don't think he's good enough for you. So... I think he's just like everybody else.
Ginny: How do you mean?
Cat: Just prying into people's business... You know, last year he didn't ask me two questions about myself and now he just wants to know everything. I wonder why. That's all.
Ginny: He just knows you better.
Cat: He doesn't know me at all.
Ginny: He's curious.
Cat: Well, curiosity killed my father.
Ginny: Depression killed your father.
Ginny: You haven't been sleeping. Have you?
Cat: I could do without the attitude... The whole "Catherine is crazy" attitude.
Ginny: I didn't say you were crazy.
Cat: You thought it.
Ginny: Don't tell me what I think.
Cat: It's just... I know that... you bring Rich round so that you can talk to him about me.
Ginny: Not everything is about you.
Cat: I know.
Ginny: It's fascinating... I feel like I'm... seeing you for the first time.
Cat: What do you mean?
Ginny: I always thought you were so perfect. I thought you had it all figured out. But you were just
surrounding yourself with men. With James, with your father... They took care of you. Without them... here you are.
Cat: Hm... I think the best hope for me now is... to not end up like my father.
Ginny: How's that going?
Cat: Mm... Touch and go. I just don't really feel like I exist anymore. And the only two people that really cared about me abandoned me. In one form or another.
Ginny: I care about you.
Cat: No, you don't.
Rich: You know, I figured you'd probably just want to be some place where... people weren't talking to you about... how you're doing, and all that stuff.
Cat: And look what you're doing now...
Rich: You don't know what I'm doing.
Cat: You're a real mystery, Rich.
Rich: Face thing?
Cat: Yes. Hurts to talk.
Rich: All of a sudden?
Cat: It comes and goes.
Rich: You realise how fake this sounds?
Cat: Do you realise how insulting that is?
Rich: Just trying to understand.
Cat: No. You're trying to judge.
I know you've been going through a hard time, and... I just wanted to apologize if I really wasn't there for you.
-Well... Maybe someday you'll be going through this shit, and I won't be there for you, and then we'll be even.
God, I hope so.
Rich: Have you seen a doctor?
Cat: Mm-hm. I've seen a bunch of them. I've seen dermatologists, I've seen a dentist, and I've seen an ENT. I've had X-rays and MRIs.
Rich: Sounds psychosomatic to me.
Cat: Excuse me?
Rich: I'm just saying, like... half a dozen doctors tell you that...
Cat: A dozen, at least.
Rich: If a fxckload of doctors tells you that there's nothing wrong with you, then what other conclusion can you possibly reach.
Cat: I don't know, Rich. Maybe that they're wrong.
Rich: You know more than the doctors.
Cat: You don't know anything about me. You show up to fxck my best friend. And you pry into the lives of others. To conceal how worthless and boring your own life is. I don't deserve this. I just want to be left alone. I want to be left alone with the few people who are left in this world, who are decent. You are weak... and greedy. And selfish. And you are the root of every problem. You... are why people betray one another. You are why there is nowhere safe or happy, anymore. You... are why depression exists. You are why there is no escape from indecency and gossip. And lies. You... Rich... You are why my father had to die. Because he couldn't live in a world like this.
Rich: You're a rich, spoiled brat. You grew up in a bubble, and when that bubble popped, you expected everybody to be around and feel sorry for you.
Cat: I thought I just wanted to be left alone.
Rich: No. You didn't. You wanted to make a spectacle of yourself.
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