Mating in Captivity

Mating in Captivity

Reconciling the Erotic + the Domestic / Esther Perel

Book - 2006
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Publisher: New York : HarperCollins, c2006
ISBN: 9870060753634
9780060753634
0060753633
Branch Call Number: 306.87 PER
Characteristics: xxi, 244 p. ; 24 cm

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j
jmikesmith
Mar 12, 2013

<p>This book challenges the assumption that sexual desire and eroticism inevitably decline in a long-term committed relationship. Perel brings an outsider's perspective to the strange mix of attitudes and behaviours that characterize American (and Canadian) relationships.<p> Her basic premise is that we crave both the security and reliability of loving long-term relationships and the thrill, excitement and heightened eroticism of new relationships. She believes that to sustain the thrill over the long-term, we must refrain from too much intimacy with our partners. We, and our partners, should maintain certain parts of ourselves and our identities that are separate from and unknown to our partners. See them with fresh eyes and remember what excited us about them in the first place.<P> In an easy-to-read yet almost poetic style, Perel lays out her thesis and uses case studies from her practice to illustrate her points in the context of real couples (with names changed, of course). <p>She doesn't exactly offer concrete suggestions for what any one couple can do. If anything, she implies that seeing a therapist is a good idea. But there is enough here to make you think more closely about how you approach sex and how to have both security and excitement in the same relationship.

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